What? Seals Having Sex With Penguins Observed

For nearly a decade voyeuristic scientist have been keeping a secret about the adorable arctic creatures that we know and love. This scientific study that has been observed by rational and highly educated minds of science since 2006; is so incredibly vile, humanity would never be able to visit a zoo or aquarium ever again. Seals and Penguins are engaging in a long list of sexual deviant activities that places the shocking sexual exploits of Caligula himself to shame, but it gets worse, so much worse…..Not only do they defile one another within their own species, but the limitless depths of their sexual perversion enables them to molest cute and cuddly critters that do not even belong to their own kind. Seals are sex crazed maniacs that will  forcefully copulate with penguins!

serial rapist seals 1

When scientists first observed the mind-boggling ultra aggressive sexual behavior among seals and penguins, they attempted to deduce many rational explanations such as; sexual inexperience, teen angst, dominant acts of aggression to solve conflicts of territorial disputes between other seals and penguins, the 50 Shades of Grey series, frustration and perhaps  inquisitive and playful interactions that went horribly awry. Sadly these theories were snuffed out and disregarded due to the increase in occurrences of the acts.

The emperor penguins may be regarded as the most sophisticated bird to ever waddle the earth, due to their short feathery coats resembling tuxedos, but they too have been noted to engage in necrophilia, pedophilia,incest, rape and other forms of sexual abuse.

Fur seals have been observed stalking emperor penguins in the wild, then forcefully holding their feathery victims against their own will and mercilessly having their way with them. The act appears to be stressful on both the seals and penguins alike due to the facts that penguins lack external genitalia and the seals have been observed to need many breaks during their vicious rendezvous.  The seals violent acts of a sexual nature being witnessed by scientists have been timed to only last an average of five minutes but usually ends with the seal devouring its victim.

Puzzled scientists are very eager to continue their observations on the disturbingly fascinating activities displayed in both species of animals and are now speculating that the seals are performing the disturbing sexual acts as a learned behavior. As of yet no seal or penguin has been reported to blindly lash out in a sexual manner at the observing scientists, but the public speculates it is only a matter of time.

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